YoursTruly777

It's been a long few years since I've been really active on DA, or even in art at all. To be completely frank, the online art community completely burned me out and my confidence in my own art was in the shitter, so getting off of all the sites, constantly drawing in hopes of gaining popularity and all that rat race shit was a huge relief. However, I never really got to a place where I felt really comfortable with myself as an artist, or my skills as an artist. Really, I'm just now opening back up to the idea that art can be a real part of my life again, because for a long time I thought that I had no real talent or future in it at all. Which made me not want to pursue it because I couldn't stand the fact that I wasn't as good as I wanted to be or knew I could be. It's a really bad place to be in emotionally and is why I wasted a lot of years avoiding drawing, showing my work online or even really putting myself out there as an artist.

Ironically, in the last 3 years I have been doing a lot more art, taken classes and currently in an oil painting class and had my work shown in shows but it was never the art I'm really passionate about (anime/manga/etc) but other kinds of art. I still have a lot of hurt tied to my art that I'm trying to work out emotionally as painful as it is.

With that being said, I know a lot of that pain was about where I should be and how fast I need to improve vs. the reality of improvement and success. None of which is fast or "overnight," that is just not the truth, even if it does happen quickly. Knowing that I have plenty of time to be the artist that I want to be, and the know how and experience of what it takes to be truly successful, I'm willing to break out of my own fucked up rut and give it another go. And thus, here I am.

That and I moved a month ago and have my own internet so that helps too honestly haha!

I don't know who is still around from the group I hung out with like a DECADE AGO but I hope you all are doing well, and I'll see you all soon!

Much love,

Kai <3

Dear artists of the world,


Where do I even start? I come online everyday and more likely then not I have to hear yet another person's trails and tribulations about "being an artist". Its either in trying to find a style, trying to stay true to yourself, wanting more criticism, telling people to piss off because of criticism, trying to be popular, wanting to live off by doing what they love, and/or thousand other things.

When the rubber hits the road us artists can agree that being an artist is FUCKING HARD. God forbid if you're on the internet trying to make your way because so many of us is left behind in the dust while a select few makes their dreams come true. Tough world, eat it or get out. Don't be an artist if you can't take consist shit and bricks to your emotional face. Don't even start if you can't handle being judged by the world by what and how you draw (or other wise) because that's basically what you're doing from that moment on...  

That last paragraph you just read. Is a complete lie... Everything, every single word, your mind just got blown (or not).

Being an artist is NOT HARD, YOU CAN make your own way on the internet, YOU CAN become popular. YOU CAN MAKE A LIVING BY DOING WHAT YOU LOVE. It is all possible and very achievable for anyone that wants it, but there is one thing standing in your way. Yourself and what you THINK you can and can not do aka your beliefs!

What you think and believe directs your outcome of your life as an artist and life itself.

Think about that second paragraph again. Did you agree with one or more statements, did it completely resonate with you because that's the same thing you have been going though? Well, we are about to punch every single one of those statements in the face twice, but you have to promise to have A LOT of patience with yourself because this is just the beginning. The beginning to finding your own magical world where your true artistic abilities are held and everything else that you ever wanted.

First and foremost stop what your doing, for god's sake get off the internet and bust out some lined paper and a pencil to reinvent yourself! Write down every single thing that you want as an artist and just as a person.

This is not the time to be "humble", you can be humble when your dead, if you want popularity then write it down! If you want to make a lot of money by drawing (or any craft) write it in all caps, engrave it in your mind! Write down every single thing that you want to have right now.

How do you feel about all your aspirations and dreams? Does it feel good just to write them or are you nervous because you made the greatest of sins for wanting so much? Either way, listen to your feelings because they are telling you something. Something important about yourself and how you approach the world.

Write those feelings down or just express them. Good, bad, sadness, or depression it doesn't matter just write them down. Don't just write the emotions down, write the "reason" behind the feelings. Does those feelings come from other people's opinions? Did those feelings resulted in what you were told, or what you assumed in the world? Write the whole story down, make it real again and feel those emotions again.

All those icky feelings, opinions, and beliefs you have about yourself, as an artist or just as a person is the very reason why you can't get what you want. You literally built a stone box (aka your feelings and beliefs) around you blocking you from the sunshine that you seek. You chiseled and chiseled at a small part of that wall to invite a small ray of light. Then you go to another part of the wall and try again. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. But out of the "whole world" that is out there the most you get are the small rays of yellow light. Don't down your rays of light, be proud of them that you can chisel through a godly tough stone wall to get them.

But you're craving more light, more sun, and more of "what is out there" in your unique world of talent. Don't down that part either, if you want more then you are a natural non-corrupted human being. Don't let others (people around you, the media, yourself) tell you that "wanting more" is wrong. Wanting more is grabbing what you have and adding more to it, making it bigger and better then what it was before. So if you want more, say it loud and proud!

Okay, so we out lined what we do want and how we felt about it. We focused on the negative feelings and how its trapping us in this "stone box". Now its time to turn that stone box into a "glass box"! Where you can see your full potential, live in front of you. You can see your dreams literally taking shape and playing back to you like you're in a wicked movie theater. The best part of the glass box is that you don't have to chisel at it for god knows how long just to get a taste of it, you can simply tap the glass and watch the barrier fall.

Before we start, all those harsh feelings from before? Let the emotions go, write/draw/paint your negativity on a piece of paper then throw it in the trash. Tell yourself "I am no longer holding these emotions against myself, thank you for telling me what I needed to work on in myself, you are free to go!". Say it as many times as you want till you're ready to throw some positivity in your new artist self!

Take out another piece of paper and write down your dreams (shorten version if you want) and why it is possible to achieve those dreams! This might be hard for some since we were so focused on the "reality" of things but this is where you rewrite "your" reality.
Where you change your beliefs about what can and can't happen in your life. When you are writing your reasons why, make those reasons real, feel that positive energy about yourself. That is key because if you can feel it, then its real to you in some form. The realer you make it, the more achievable it is!

Make yourself feel good about your dreams and how you can easily get to them. Get that huge ego and embrace it because its telling you, you can do ANYTHING and you don't even have to work hard. When you are positive about something, you are making it real and accessible to come into your life. Things come "out the blue" when your positive, things just go smoothly, and ideas just work out when you're upbeat in mood. Where when you are negative about something the opposite happens.

That's because your beliefs and feelings are dictating what you can and can't do. "I can" means unlimited where "I can't" means limited. When you say either you are stating whether you're enabling or disenabling yourself from what you can or can not want, do, or believe.

Its all a state of mind if you can or can't do it. Open yourself to all what life and what your dreams have put together for you and ride that epic wave. Don't let others take that away from you either because "all this", the old and new found artist self was done by you. No one can change your beliefs unless you let yourself believe them.

No one can take your dreams away and no one can block you from your goals but you! Be persistent, courageous, daring, loving, and head strong with what you want as an artist. Whoever doesn't like what you're doing, tell them to simply "piss of" and don't feel sorry to stand for what you believe in.

This is "your life" take control of it and your creative destiny, never let anyone take that power away because its rightfully yours.

Peace, love, and paint brushes ~